I couldn’t stand this woman…until I read her book
Not again.
I had been enjoying a message about life after death when the speaker began reading a quote from an all-too-familiar source. I could suddenly feel the eyes of my friends turning towards me.
Why did this keep happening?
Afterward, a friend commented excitedly, “Wasn’t that a cool quote? Have you heard of that lady before?”
In fact, I had. One too many times.
Joni. Eareckson. Tada.
After a life-altering diving accident led to paralysis, Joni went onto speak, write, and advocate for people with disabilities all over the world, sharing about her faith in God in the midst of suffering.
It seemed that people couldn’t help themselves from comparing me to this woman and it was driving me nuts.
As a guy in my early twenties adjusting to the new realities of my physical circumstances, constantly being automatically associated with a woman who was nearly 70-years-old was not as encouraging as people seemed to think.
The only problem was, I could not avoid her name.
At a concert one evening, a lady spotted my wheelchair and seized the opportunity to tell me about Joni’s organization that facilitates camp retreats for families with a loved one who has a disability. I faked a smile and thought to myself,
“Thanks, but no thanks. I’m not going to a camp to celebrate the fact that I am in a wheelchair.”
I shared with a friend about my belief in healing and he was quick to point out Joni and her strong faith in Jesus…and how it did not change the fact that she had been paralyzed for decades. I wasn’t quite sure if he was trying to discourage my thinking or was just stating the facts. I acted as if I did not hear him but in my head I thought,
“I don’t care about Joni! I’m tired of hearing about her!”
Many around me continued to bring her to my attention, pointing out what she was able to accomplish in spite of her injury. However, as far as I was concerned, simply sharing the same faith and physical condition was not exactly grounds for assuming I wanted to be best friends with this lady.
Why did it irritate me so much? Was it that I felt like people saw my injury and automatically assumed I wanted to speak and write about my faith, or that my future vocational aspirations were limited to this arena? Or was it simply the fact that so many people saw me and immediately thought of a 70-year-old woman who goes around singing hymns for audiences?
I was not buying it. I was sure she was a nice lady, but I was sick of hearing about her.
That is, until I actually took the time to read one of her books.
After years of trying to avoid her name, I came across her book, A Place of Healing, and decided to give it a shot.
The pages took me inside her mind and allowed me to see how she processed the chronic pain that came with her paralysis, while wrestling through why God allows such suffering.
I was amazed by how her words displayed the same raw emotion I have experienced at a variety of points in my own journey. One excerpt in particular mirrored my own situation so closely that I felt like I could have written it myself:
“In the dark, in the night, after two in the morning when the medication has worn off and sleep has fled, I have faced the stark reality of my life as it is, and asked myself, How can I go on like this? How can I endure another sleepless night? How can I go through another morning routine of just trying to get a pain-wracked, uncooperative body ready for the day?”
Suddenly I realized I actually had more in common with Joni than I thought. I wanted to reach through the pages and talk to her, recognizing that she was someone who understood how I feel on a level that few others will ever be able to.
As I continued to read about her, I became more encouraged by her story. Yes, her physical body is still confined to a wheelchair, yet she is living life to the fullest and helping others do the same.
Overall, she has a deep trust in Jesus, believes that He can heal her, but doesn’t let the fact that He hasn’t stop her from making a tremendous impact on the lives of others in similar situations.
Going forward, whenever people inevitably bring up her name, I will utilize the opportunity as a reminder to be encouraged by Joni’s example. Yes, this situation is difficult, but like Joni, I’m not going to let that stop me from making the most of each opportunity that God has placed in front of me.
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This was so beautifully written from your heart. Your K-teacher is so incredibly proud of you and how you minister to others. My church (Faith Bible Church) and my husband, are very involved in the organization, Joni and Friends. God is richly blessing your ministry as he has Joni’s. Love you, Ryan!
I always enjoy your blog Ryan. Miss seeing you and Stephanie.
Ryan, I love and respect your transparency! You are an inspiration. Bob Buck
This is a wonderful and inspiring story. It’s a direct testimony of how God uses others to help us see what and who we need. You didn’t realize the comfort that could be offered from witnessing Joni’s journey and people in your life lead you to her story. Sometimes the best thing we can do for one another is to direct each other in the right direction of someone who’s traveling the same exact way.
Best regards to you Ryan and we all believe in you!
I think the question we all need to as ourselves is why, why does God permit some of us to be disabled. I think the answer is the same as for the blind man in the gospels, so that God may be glorified. One time at a men’s retreat I met a disabled man with cerebral palsy named Mike. At the end of the event during praise and worship I was standing behind Mike while he lifted his weak arms in praise. I found my self praying, God please heal mike. To my surprise I distinctly heard god say to me, “Mike is perfect, it is you that is wanting”. Wow, not what I expected. I am sure he was telling me God doesn’t make mistakes. It is we that need to adjust how we see. God loves the disabled and wants us to use our ability or disability to glorify Him.
I have served at half a dozen Joni & Friends camps, it’s like a little slice of heaven for those serving and those being served. Check it out at http://www.oniandfriends.org sign up for one near you.
I admire your teachable heart, Ryan. This is one of the reasons you are such a strong man. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Dear Ryan, it was with mixed emotions I read your message and I could well relate to the quote from Joni about the sad thing that comes in the middle of the night to torture and try to defeat you. Most of us experience that but it was so hard to imagine how difficult that time has been for you. I love how you and Stephanie fight this battle together and the incredible courage it requires to stay on top of things. Thank you for your honest and heart felt words that lets us see deep into your heart. I can just imagine the great reward God will present you and Stephanie for your faithfulness to Him and to each other.
Thank you for sharing your journey Ryan. You & Stephanie are loved
Thanks Ryan I would love to see you guys! You have moved so far away ☺️. Let Julie know when we can get together! Great blog I will read the book!