The best way to handle your discontentment this Christmas
Shortly after Thanksgiving, I watched intently as Stephanie put the final touches on our Christmas tree.
I watched as she strung lights around the tree and carefully placed ornaments on the branches. The smell of hot cookies filled the air, and Mariah Carey bellowed in the background.
At first, the only thing missing seemed to be snow falling outside.
But the more I leaned into what I was feeling, the more I realized white flurries alone would not quench the lingering discontentment that was stirring beneath the surface.
Something is missing. This is not how it is supposed to be.
A Hint of Discontentment
It was the same thing I often feel at family holidays, looking on as relatives gather for food and conversation. It was the same feeling I experience when I share a bowl of popcorn with Stephanie and watch a movie, or while playing a card game with friends.
In all kinds of joyful moments, I consistently find myself longing for something more. It’s a subtle feeling of lack. A hint of discontentment. The simple joys of life often seem to accentuate what’s missing.
This would be so much better if I wasn’t in the wheelchair.
It would be really nice to be able to sit on the couch with Stephanie for this movie.
How much more fun would this experience be if I could use my hands?
I know I’m not the only one who struggles with discontentment during the holidays.
For many, that empty spot at the family table this year will be a reminder of a lost loved one. Others will be frustrated about being distant from relatives during a pandemic and wondering how many more video calls they have to sit through before life returns to “normal.” Then there are those who simply wish they had a family to call their own.
A Satisfying Way to Think about Dissatisfaction
It is easy to fall into a general feeling of dissatisfaction and even beat ourselves up for that. Why aren’t I more grateful for what I already have?
While practicing gratitude is a good idea, there is an even better way to think about discontentment.
As human beings living in a broken, battered world, we are constantly on the lookout for ways to achieve full satisfaction. Everything would be perfect if only… I got the promotion. The house. The raise. The spouse. The healing. This pursuit of happiness and health is wired into our DNA.
But there is one vital fact, we need to keep in mind: none of these things can be counted on to fill the void we feel, at least not completely.
Could God be using our unmet longings to point us to something greater?
C.S. Lewis said, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”
The Christmas feasts, family gatherings, and nostalgic holiday movies can be a source of phenomenal memories and enjoyment among family and friends. But they are still merely a glimpse into the never-ending celebration that God has in store for his people.
Enjoy the festivities. But don’t be ashamed to lean into those moments that feel hollow. Use them as a reminder that a better day is coming for those who follow Jesus.
Before leaving the earth, Jesus said he was going to prepare a place for his followers. The table is being set for the celebration that will last for all eternity.
Now that is something worth putting our hope in.
Want to dive deeper? My new memoir, One Step Closer, is my story about the car accident in 2009 that altered the trajectory of my life and my subsequent journey of learning how to have hope no matter the circumstances. You can learn more and download the first chapter for free here.
Incredible article! As I started reading it, I wondered if you were going to use CS Lewis‘s quote about longing for another world. Well done! Merry Christmas!
Sarah, thanks for the feedback. One of my favorite quotes!
Good word today Ryan, thanks for sharing and thanks for continuing to motivate me and others. The Holidays can an emotional roller coaster, I’m still trying to wrap my head around what Christmas 2020 will be like. But keeping our eyes on the prize and our faith in Christ it helps remind us that while we might be on a roller coaster right now there is hope. Hope you and Stephanie have an awesome Holiday.
Absolutely Randy. Hope remains… The question is, where is our focus?
Uncanny how the Lord will keep repeating a theme. I had just journaled about this very topic yesterday, and recalled C.S. Lewis’s quote and the sentiments you shared. The Lord must be wooing His people to keep their hearts set on Him as our eternal hope. Hebrews 6:19 — This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.” I so appreciate you and Stephanie, Ryan. Your lives, and the message of Christ coming through you both, is powerful!
It sounds like many of us are learning the same lesson. Great verse, thanks for sharing that Sue
Merry Christmas Ryan & Stephanie.
This is a great topic Ryan, been there & felt that in the past.
My community group is studying Ecclesiastes right now so this especially hit home.
God Bless!
Gary
Such a thought-provoking book. Anything specific sticking out to your group?
Thanks for the great perspective and reminder. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas brother. Looking forward to your next blog post!
Ryan,
I really enjoy your blogs and you are really hitting home with many of us, young and old. Keep spreading your word. You have definitely found your true calling. I hope you and Stephanie have a wonderful and safe Christmas. As you know it is a very spiritual time of year that we all need to really understand why we celebrate.
Barry
Thanks for your message Barry. Glad to know age is not a barrier on my writing. Enjoy your Christmas!
Oh my gosh such a good read Ryan! I have found myself beating myself up because everything is so wonderful yet inside there is still this slight sadness, this longing. It’s so comforting and brings peace to know this is truth. The hole is really there and it will always be there until I’m home.
Blessings friend! You are incredible.
The longing will not last for long… “I am coming soon, and my reward is with me.” Revelation 22:12
[…] Whether it’s a prestigious job title, money, sex, food, fame, or the latest technology device, the world has a way of offering us goods that we believe will bring ultimate satisfaction or ease the pain. In actuality, these things are fleeting and temporary and do not even begin to touch the void deep inside us. […]