I was so hesitant to share my experience. What would people think of me? Would they think I was crazy? Up to this point, being a closed book was all I had known. That was about to change as I pressed “Publish Post” for the first time on this website in 2013.

Six years later, I am still seeing just how powerful the decision to open up can be.

The more I’ve shared, the more free I’ve felt. As I’ve received feedback over the years, I have realized that many of us are dealing with the same things.

When it came to the topic of my last blog post, one reader reached out to voice their similarities to my experience:

“Your story sounded like what happened to me a few years ago. Seizures, psychosis, hallucinations, and inability to eat. It was like I was in the present, past, and future. I truly believe there may have been some spiritual stuff going on because it was so strange. Especially having to fight off those thoughts that did not seem like my own… It’s always comforting knowing there is someone who can relate.”

Shame, isolation, and fear begin to dissipate the moment you put all your personal experiences on the table and someone else says “me too.”

The Bible describes our adversary as a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Like a vulture wanting to get its prey alone, staying isolated is exactly what the enemy wants from us. We are the most vulnerable to his lies when we isolate ourselves. Life is not meant to be lived as a solo sport. It is essential to surround ourselves with like-minded people.

I originally decided to start blogging after stumbling upon the englishcollege.com website of another guy with a similar spinal cord injury. I could not believe his vulnerability. As I sifted through his writing, I could not help but wonder, “Did he really just put that out in cyberspace?” I knew exactly how he felt and what he was thinking, but in my innermost being I felt it most socially acceptable in the name of “masculinity” to hide behind the façade that I was never fazed by my current physical condition. The ensuing self-reflection set into motion an area of my life I had never really approached, and this website was birthed.

What’s one thing in your life that no one knows about it? What’s that particular area in your heart that you spend almost all your energy trying to hide?

When I ask myself that question, what comes to my mind first is my struggle with wondering if I have what it takes. Am I going to fail? Will I ever measure up? I don’t like people knowing that deep inside I wrestle with the fear of being a failure as a husband. Or a friend. Or a man.

We were not created to carry these burdens all by ourselves. We are created to lean on each other, to be honest with each other, to encourage each other and to love each other, and this is only possible when we’re open with each other.

It’s scary being totally honest. It’s intimidating to be vulnerable. In fact, sometimes the person on the other side will reject us. They will hurt us, or they’ll make us want to crawl back into our cave of isolation. But I’m learning that risking it is worth it in the long run. It may be messy along the way, but the joy and freedom offered on the other side of vulnerability will always trump the false security that isolation offers. We only get one crack at this life. Let’s make the most of it together.

Thanks for joining me on this journey. It hasn’t been easy. I continue to deal with chronic pain, spasticity, and daily incidences of frustration. However, as you can see in the video below, the healing I’ve experienced over the past few months has me feeling better in many ways than I have in a decade. Sleep apnea, restless nights staring at the ceiling, and a weak voice are all being left in the past. Can’t wait to see what is ahead.

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